The Say It Second Hypothesis
Observation: Relationships tend to take a turn for the worse once I blurt out the ever-disastrous phrase “I love you.” Hypothesis: Men do not like to hear “I love you.” Ever. Unless they’ve said it ...
Month: January 2005
When I Grow Up, I Want To Be a Hermit
It isn’t that I don’t like people. I love people. I really do. I love little girls who chase after soccer balls and pat horses’ velvety noses. I love old men who fart without repercussion ...
Woulda Coulda Shoulda
Time is a relative concept. The hours spent at work are triple the length of the hours spent drinking with your buddies, watching a good movie, and having mind-melting sex. Sleep, the activity with the ...
Boll Weevil (Short Story)
I lost my virginity to my cousin when I was fifteen years old. We were the same age, but she was infinitely more experienced than I, and — well, to tell you the truth, fifteen ...
Re: The Woman Sitting Next to Me Last Saturday During The Bourne Supremacy
I am a social magnet. (Not magnate, as in an “oil magnate” or “shipping magnate,” but as in the kind you stick on your refrigerator.) Now, I’m not saying I’m the life of the party, ...